Divorce and your Children
Philip Sands is a Long Island/NYC divorce lawyer, having practiced law for 42 years. He has shepherded his clients through the “minefields” of litigation, some of whom, briefly before knowing him, are simply “out of touch” with the perceptions of Judges who have an agenda sometimes very different from the estranged litigants.
Mr. Sands was actively engaged in the divorce matter of DeMille v. DeMille which apparently led to a legislative change in the Statute of Limitations concerning a permissible challenge of certain pre-nuptial agreements; and he championed certain religious rights bearing on the matter of the Christmas Holiday culturally practiced by certain non-christian litigants (for the latter see Google).
Divorcing couples who usually do not have unusual stories to offer (Mr. Sands has heard them all; the Judges, too, have heard them all) sometimes, nevertheless, are intent on their “day in court,” hoping eventually to win that ephemeral “beauty” contest (see me better, like me better) by which their sense of retaliation is somehow vindicated.
Passion and anger, which drive parties to divorce, are best tempered even when we view ourselves as victims. The “smart money” need not be entirely dispassionate, but it is always mature and constructive.
Divorce court is not traffic court. One does not simply appear before a Judge and tell one’s story. Divorce litigation (the saddest of all litigation) is loaded with every aspect of civil procedure (no matter how uncivil the issues) requiring the firm hand of a skilled lawyer not merely strongly to advocate at trial, but to prepare early and comprehensively one’s client for the onslaught of the often antagonistic pursuits of the “other side.”
A conflict bearing on child custody usually mandates an appointment by the Court of an attorney for the children, and a forensic psychologist to evaluate the parents and children. These people are professionals, and without any intention of befriending the parties, no matter how “wide the smiles.”
Dealing with attorneys for the children, and forensic experts, requires good sense and careful preparation, not gained from superficial considerations between one’s own lawyer and oneself. The relationship between divorce lawyer and client is unusually complex, and never to be taken lightly.
The key to a successful outcome is respect for one’s spouse, no matter how unpalatable, for inbred thereby are healthier and better-coping children and families.
One can always fight the “good fight,” yet do it respectfully. One can, otherwise, pay his/her divorce lawyer lots of money to offend the sensibilities of the Court. It is Mr. Sands’ intention to “open your eyes” for your betterment, and for the children. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011 Philip Sands, Esq.
